I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
