Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
