have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
