I feel like abortions should bother me more
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
