So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Such a big mess for such a small penis
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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