Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
