Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize
