He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
