She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
