Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
