i just had sex bonerless
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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