My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
