Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
