Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
