she looked like the before picture.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
