i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
