He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
