I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
