end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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