Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
