I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She bit a glass in half.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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