i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
