Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
