dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
