i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
