oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
