did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
