Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
