white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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