My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my sisters under your porch take her home
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
