Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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