VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
