We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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