His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
