be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
