I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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