It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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