in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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