He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
