i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You can't special order awesome
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
