I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Farmville is her only friend.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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