you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
