and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
