can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
