He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Why is your signature on my underwear?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
