he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
