I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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