Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Randomize
