About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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