its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
