i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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