Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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