Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
