All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
