Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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