If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
