So drunk, too bad you don't want this
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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